Matters of the Heart
by Tuttle
Summary: Tad decides to take matters into his own hands when he learns that medical problems may cost Jake his life. Please R&R. NOW COMPLETE!
1. Chapter One

Matters of the Heart  
  
Jake Martin reached his arm out off of the steering wheel and clicked off the radio. The wind outside was beginning to pick up as Jake pulled into the staff parking lot of the Pine Valley Hospital. He sat in his car for a moment before making a dash for the front door.  
  
He reached the automatic doors and paused to catch his breath before stepping inside. He ran his fingers back through his disheveled hair as he approached the nurses' station.  
  
"Morning, Doctor Martin," one of the nurses said to him as he checked the roster.  
  
"Good Morning, Gwen," Jake said, checking his watch. "There weren't any calls for me, were there?"  
  
"No, doctor, were you expecting one?"  
  
"If a doctor Alan Morgan calls page me right away, alright?"  
  
"Sure," Gwen said. "Are you OK? You don't look too good."  
  
"I'm fine," Jake assured her. "Don't forget about my call Gwen."  
  
"Don't worry, I'll take care of it."  
  
Jake walked away from the station and rubbed his eyes as he entered the doctors' lounge. He approached the lockers and pulled his open, removing his white jacket and putting it on.  
  
Jake paused awkwardly. He looked up briefly, and then closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. Suddenly, he heard a tap at the door. He jumped, taken by surprise by the noise. Jake slowly walked over to the door and pulled it open.  
  
"Surprise." Greenlee Smythe said. "Smile, Jake. I thought you'd be surprised." Jake put on a phony smile. "Should I go back out and try again?"  
  
"No," Jake said, bending down and kissing her on the forehead. "I'm sorry, Greenlee, I just have a lot on my mind."  
  
"Well," Greenlee said, putting her arms around Jake's waist, resting her chin up against his chest and staring up at him. "I can think of one way to brighten your day."  
  
"I just came on duty, Greenlee. I can't just leave."  
  
"Oh, come on, Jake," Greenlee said, taking his hands and trying to lead him out of the room. "You're chief of staff. Have someone cover for you. Just for a few hours."  
  
"I can't, Greenlee. Maybe later."  
  
"I took off from work today. I thought we could go Christmas shopping."  
  
"We will," Jake said. "I promise we will. Just..."  
  
"Doctor Martin," Gwen opened the door to the lounge and poked her head in. "You have a call on line three."  
  
"Thanks, Gwen," Jake said as Gwen left the room. "Greenlee, this is really important. I'll call you for lunch." Greenlee looked at him disappointed. "Please, Greenlee."  
  
"I'm going, I'm going," Greenlee gave in. "And I'll be waiting for you to call later."  
  
"I will." Jake kissed her again. "I'll see you later." He waited until Greenlee left the room to pick up the phone.  
  
"This is Jake Martin...Oh, Doctor Morgan, I was hoping you'd call. Did you get the results back yet?..And what did they show?.. I could be there in about a half hour...No,no. I'd rather come alone...Thank you." Jake hung the phone back up and fell back into a chair, almost as if his knees had given out underneath him. He put his head in his hands and breathed deeply. "0h, God," he said. "This isn't happening."  
  
  
  
Greenlee sat alone at a table in the Pancake Palace. She drank her coffee slowly, pausing after each sip to place the cup back down on the table.  
  
"Greenlee?" Tad Martin approached her. "Do my eyes deceive me, or have you managed to lose my brother?"  
  
She smiled. "Sit down, Tad. I'll buy you some coffee."  
  
"Don't mind if I do." Tad sat and Greenlee motioned for a cup of coffee. "Jake doesn't seem to have much time for anything these days. I was just down at the hospital and they said he wasn't there..."  
  
"What do you mean he wasn't there?" Greenlee interrupted him. "I was just there and he told me he couldn't leave."  
  
"Well," Tad said. "He was gone when I got there."  
  
"You know, I'm getting worried about him, Tad. He really hasn't been himself for the past few days."  
  
"I'm sure it's just Christmas. That's it. He's probably out buying you some spectacular gift. Oh, do you think maybe he'll...pop the question?"  
  
"Jake?" Greenlee laughed. "We are talking about the same Jake Martin, right?"  
  
"I've seen the way he is when he's with you. Don't kid yourself, Greenlee. This could be it."  
  
"It could be, couldn't it?"  
  
"Sure, and if I know Jake, he's working to make this the most...perfect, wonderful surprise that will knock everyone's socks off, including his own." Tad saw the smile on Greenlee's face. "You see?" he said. "You see, there's nothing to worry about. Jake's just being Jake." Greenlee went into her purse to get money to pay for the coffees. Tad reached out and pushed her hand gently down. "This one's on me."  
  
  
  
Jake sat impatiently in Dr. Morgan's office at Oak Haven Hospital. He nervously tapped his fingers on the arm of the chair, unsure of what was about to transpire. Jake jumped each time he heard footsteps coming down the hallway. He checked his watch every thirty seconds until he heard the office door swing open. Jake stood, turning to face who had entered.  
  
"Jake," Dr. Morgan said, approaching his desk and sitting. "Have a seat."  
  
Jake complied. "So," he said. "What did you find?"  
  
"I'm afraid the news isn't good, Jake," the doctor said. "You have a condition called dilated cardiomyopathy. What that is, is your heart muscle has stretched, enlarging one of the chambers of you heart. Because of this, the ability of your heart to pump blood has weakened. As the heart pumps harder to try to make up for this, the muscle walls continue to become enlarged."  
  
"Compensation," Jake said. "I'm familiar with the term. I've never seen this condition before though."  
  
"Well, dilated cardiomyopathy is extremely rare and it usually affects men about your age."  
  
"But nobody in my family has a heart condition."  
  
"That's what makes this condition unique. There is no known cause for it."  
  
"What know?" Jake asked him. "Did you catch it in time?"  
  
"This condition can be present in the body for several year before any symptoms develop. This unfortunately is the case here."  
  
"So...what?" Jake began to get agitated. "I just sit back and wait?"  
  
"You need to get yourself on a donor list right away. Now, a heart transplant is your only option."  
  
"The odds that I'll get a new heart are completely against me." Jake paused. "How long would you say I have if a new organ doesn't become available?"  
  
"Up to five years."  
  
"Up to? So I could be dead tomorrow?"  
  
Dr. Morgan didn't answer. "For now," he said. I can prescribe you with some beta blockers to regulate your heart beat. And I'm going to give you the name of a cardiologist that comes highly recommended. He saved the life of a close friend of mine. He's world renowned and would be the best man qualified to treat you." Dr. Morgan scribbled quickly on a piece of paper and handed it to Jake. "Here's his name and number. Give him a call."  
  
Jake took the paper and looked at it reading the name. "You are kidding, right?" he said. "David Hayward?" 


	2. Chapter Two

Jake stood outside the entranceway of Oak Haven Hospital. He looked once again at the piece of paper with David's name and number before stuffing it in his pocket. Jake took out his cell phone and dialed a number. After a moment, there was an answer on the other end.  
  
"Hello?" Greenlee said.  
  
"Guess who?" Jake said.  
  
"Jake. I've been waiting for you to call all day."  
  
"I've been tied up at the hospital. You know how hectic it can get."  
  
"Yeah," Greenlee said, knowing that Jake was lying to her. "I guess you have to get back to work, huh?"  
  
"Actually," Jake said to her. "I was thinking that maybe we could get some of that shopping done. And... I owe you lunch."  
  
"Not if you're busy..."  
  
"I'm never too busy for you."  
  
"OK?" Greenlee said a bit confused. "If you say so. What did you have in mind?"  
  
"How does the Valley Inn sound?"  
  
"Great," Greenlee said. "I could meet you there in about...15 minutes?"  
  
Jake knew that was impossible. It would take at least twice that amount of time just to get back to Pine Valley. "I'll tell you what," Jake said. "It's...1:00 now. I still have a few things to take care of here, and  
  
then I want to run home and change. I'll pick you up at two. How's that?"  
  
"Fine...I guess."  
  
"Great," Jake said. "That's great. I'll see you at two then."  
  
Greenlee hung up the phone and waited a moment before she picked it up again and dialed.  
  
"Pine Valley Hospital," came a voice on the other end.  
  
"Jake Martin, please," Greenlee said.  
  
"Doctor Martin's not in the hospital right now. He left early this morning. Is this an emergency? I could page him for you."  
  
"Oh, no. It's no emergency. Thank you." Greenlee hung up the phone, still unsure of the reason that Jake was lying to her. Something about the whole thing, and the way Jake was acting didn't sit right in  
  
Greenlee's stomach. All she could do now was trust that everything was really alright.  
  
  
  
It seemed to take Jake longer to get from Oak Haven to Pine Valley than his trip there. In actuality, he had made it home in record time. He slowly made his way up to his apartment and paused after reaching his hand in his pocket. Instead of pulling out his key, he pulled out the crumpled piece of paper bearing David's name. "David Hayward," Jake laughed. "How can I even consider it?"  
  
He unlocked the door and walked inside, removing his coat and throwing it on the chair beside him. He took a seat on the sofa and reached out to grab hold of a small box that sat on the table in front  
  
of him. He flipped the top up, revealing inside, a beautiful diamond ring, a solitaire that glistened and shined every which way he moved it. This was supposed to be Jake's Christmas present to Greenlee.  
  
He had planned it perfectly, right down to the very last detail. He had even managed to hide his plans from everyone, although he had a feeling that Tad was onto him.  
  
"I can't go through with this now," Jake said. "How could I go through with this now and ask her to watch me like this? I can't have her watch me die. I can't tell anybody that I'm even sick. How could I possibly ask Greenlee to marry me?"  
  
There was a knock at the door. Jake quickly closed the ring box and stuffed it into his pocket, again feeling the crumpled paper but paying it no mind. Jake stood and went to answer the door.  
  
"Oh," Greenlee said. "I didn't think you'd be here yet. I'm still fifteen minutes early." Greenlee lifted her hand and touched Jake's cheek. "My God, Jake. You're freezing."  
  
"Yeah," Jake said, quickly pulling away. "It's just a little cold in here. I need to get the heat fixed."  
  
Greenlee raised her eyebrows, having noticed the warm room the moment she walked in. "Are you ready to go?"  
  
"I just want to get out of these clothes..." Greenlee looked at him seductively. "and into something else. Don't go getting any ideas."  
  
"Oh, Jake. You read my mind." Greenlee smiled.  
  
"Behave," Jake said. "I'll be out in a minute."  
  
Greenlee took a seat on the sofa as Jake disappeared into the next room. "I bumped into Tad this morning," Greenlee called to him.  
  
"He sends his love."  
  
"As always," Jake called back. "Did he happen to mention anything about how Jamie did on his road test?"  
  
"No. It was still pretty early. He was heading to take him there when I left." Greenlee paused. "Jamie's a responsible kid though, I bet he did fine."  
  
"I wouldn't doubt it," Jake said as the phone rang. Greenlee reached out and picked it up as Jake walked into the room. "Let the machine pick it..."  
  
"Hello?" Greenlee said. "Yes, this is Jake Martin's residence... Oh...I certainly will... No, thank you for calling. Bye." Greenlee hung up the phone, a questioning look on her face as Jake moved closer to her.  
  
"That was Oak Haven Hospital," Greenlee said. "They were calling to let you know that you left your wallet there after your appointment with a Dr. Morgan this morning. " Jake didn't say a word, but bit his bottom lip nervously. "What's going on, Jake?" 


	3. Chapter Three

"Going on?" Jake asked. "There's nothing going on, Greenlee."  
  
"You lied to me, Jake," Greenlee said. "You told me you were at the hospital all day. You told me you were busy running around."  
  
"I have been busy today. I got a call from Dr. Morgan this morning. I...had to meet him about a patient we're working with."  
  
"So you did have an appointment at Oak Haven this morning."  
  
"Yeah," Jake said, thinking quickly. "We bought coffee in the cafeteria. I must have left my wallet there."  
  
"Why didn't you just tell me that you were at Oak Haven instead of... of lying to me?"  
  
"I didn't want you to jump to any conclusions."  
  
"I worry about you Jake. You know that."  
  
"I know," Jake said as he put his arms around Greenlee. "You don't have anything to worry about, baby."  
  
"You would tell me, Jake. I mean if there was something..."  
  
"Of course I would," Jake said. Greenlee rested her head on Jake's chest and he gently ran his fingers through her hair. He placed his hand under her chin and lifted her head so that her eyes met with his. Greenlee had tears in her eyes. "Hey," Jake said, wiping away her tears. "What's this?"  
  
Greenlee sniffled. "I can't bear to think of anything happening to you." Jake drew her into him once again. "I love you so much."  
  
Jake bent his head down and kissed Greenlee. "Nothing's going to happen to me, Greenlee."  
  
"Promise me, Jake, that you'll always be here. That you'll never leave me."  
  
"I'll be there for you always. No matter what it takes, I'm going to stay right here with you."  
  
  
  
Tad Martin slowly got out of the passenger's seat of his car. He walked upto the curb, his eyes as wide and stricken as a deer in headlights. Tiny beads of sweat rolled down his face.  
  
Jamie stepped out of the driver's side next. He walked around the front of the car, looking briefly at the bumper and headlight.  
  
"Two hours," Tad said as Jamie joined him on the curb. "You've had your license for two hours and you don't even run a stop sign. You run into one."  
  
"Dad," Jamie started.  
  
"Brooke is going to have my head on a plate for this one."  
  
"Maybe she won't..."  
  
Tad point up his finger, stopping the boy in his tracks. "Maybe I could bring it down to get fixed before she gets in."  
  
"Um, Dad..." Jamie said, glancing back towards the house.  
  
Brooke appeared in the doorway. She made her way out to the curb where Tad and Jamie stood. "How did you do?" she asked, not noticing the damage to the car at first.  
  
"Wonderful," Tad said, moving so that his back faced the car. "It went off without a hitch. You are now looking at one of Pine Valley's newest licensed drivers." Tad looked over at Jamie and then back at Brooke. "God help us all," he said under his breath.  
  
Brooke began to walk towards Jamie when she finally noticed the damage done to the front of the car. "What happened?" Brooke said in shock.  
  
Tad looked over at Jamie. "You see, Brooke," Tad began. "After Jamie passed the test, he begged me to let him drive home." The look of fear on Jamie's face could have stopped traffic. "But being the responsible person that I am, I figured that Jamie would be too excited to drive home, so I didn't let him."  
  
"So what happened to the car then, Tad?" Brooke asked once again.  
  
"I guess I was more excited than he was." Tad glanced over at Jamie. "I crashed the car." Brooke grew a bit more concerned. "Nothing serious," Tad continued. "I just clipped a stop sign."  
  
"Are you two alright?"  
  
"Yeah, we're fine. Right, James?"  
  
"Yeah," Jamie stammered. "We're OK."  
  
"You see," Tad said to Brooke. "We're fine. There's no problem. I'll bring the car down tomorrow to get fixed."  
  
"OK." Brooke said. "As long as you two are alright." They both nodded simultaneously. "Well come on inside then, it's freezing out here."  
  
"You go on," Tad said. "I just want to get a good look at the car." Brooke nodded and started back towards the house.  
  
Jamie turned to Tad. "Why did you take the heat for this?" he asked.  
  
"Your mom should be allowed to be happy about what you accomplished today. Plus, right now, I'd get a lot less 'heat' than you'd get." Tad said as he checked the front of the car. "Don't get used to it."  
  
"I don't know how to thank you for this, Dad."  
  
"I do," Tad said, putting his arm around Jamie's shoulder and walking towards the house. "You'll be thanking me for a pretty long time. How long you ask? Well let me tell you. Just as long as it takes you to raise enough money to pay me back for fixing the car. Sound fair?" Tad smiled as Jamie opened his mouth to speak. "I think so too." 


	4. Chapter Four

It was early in the morning when Greenlee woke up. She tiptoed into the bathroom as not to wake Jake. She had figured that he could use the rest, work could wait. As for Greenlee, however, Giovanna had called her into an early meeting to discuss the spring color line. As much as Greenlee didn't want to leave Jake, she did enjoy being up before he left for work in the morning.  
  
Greenlee jumped quickly into the shower. The warm water felt relaxing as it ran over her body. She thought of nothing as she massaged the shampoo into her hair and then rinsed it out. Normally, Greenlee would take her time in the morning, but not today. She was in and out in ten minutes, wrapping herself in a large towel as she stepped out of the bathroom and crept quietly back passed sleeping Jake.  
  
Greenlee dug through the closet, pulling out the first matching skirt and top she came upon, and draped them over her arm.  
  
"That color towel looks great on you," Jake said as Greenlee turned quickly.  
  
"Did I wake you up?" Greenlee asked.  
  
"No," Jake said, pushing himself up in bed. "I have to go to work anyway." He swung his feet off the end of the bed and brought his hand up to rub his chest, close to his left shoulder as he stood.  
  
"Are you OK?" Greenlee asked.  
  
"Yeah, just a cramp." Jake made his way to the closet beside Greenlee. She rested her head up against the soft skin of his chest. "You didn't tell me," Jake continued after kissing the top of Greenlee's wet head. "Why are you up so early?"  
  
"Giovanna," Greenlee said, walking back out of Jake's view to begin changing into her clothes. "Don't even ask. She would be lost without me. The new spring line needs to be set, we need to work up new advertising layout..."  
  
"I'll stick to medicine."  
  
"You never did strike me as a blush and eyeshadow guy." She smiled and waited for a witty response, but there was none. "Jake? What is it, what's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing!" Jake raised his voice. "There's nothing wrong!" Jake paused, looking at the shocked look on Greenlee's face. "Oh, Greenlee," he said. "Greenlee, I'm sorry." He started towards her, but she pulled away.  
  
"I have to go to work," Greenlee said, still in shock by Jake's demeanor. She slowly turned and walked out of the room. Jake followed her.  
  
"Greenlee," Jake begged.  
  
"I'll call later," Greenlee said, grabbing her jacket and heading for the door. "Maybe then you'll be in a better mood."  
  
Greenlee exited, slamming the door as she did, leaving Jake standing alone in the apartment.  
  
  
  
"How long do you think it's going to take?" Tad asked the service station attendant as he watched his car get parked behind the garage.  
  
"There are a lot of people before you today," the attendant said. "Tomorrow's Sunday...Mechanics are off on Sunday. Maybe Monday or Tuesday."  
  
"So, hold on a minute," Tad said shaking his head. "Let me get this straight. It's Saturday morning and I might not get my car back until Monday?"  
  
"Or Tuesday."  
  
"For a ding and a headlight?!"  
  
"I'm sorry, sir, you didn't have an appointment."  
  
"I feel like I'm at the dentist or something."  
  
"Can I get some help over here?" Tad knew that distressed voice.  
  
"Greenlee?" Tad approached her. "What happened?" Greenlee didn't say a word, but fell in his arms, weeping. "It's OK," Tad said. "Come on, it can't be that bad." Greenlee didn't stop crying. "Or can it?"  
  
"I'm sorry," Greenlee wiped her eyes.  
  
"You don't have anything to be sorry about," Tad told her. "Why don't you tell me what's wrong? Is it Jake? Did something happen with you two?"  
  
"Oh, Tad," Greenlee began. "That's just the beginning of it. I haven't even got to work yet and my day is a disaster. My car runs out of gas. I'm going to lose my job with Giovanna if I don't make this meeting and Jake..."  
  
"Did you have a fight? Is that what has you so upset?"  
  
"He's hiding something. He's hiding something bigger than anything we could imagine. And it doesn't have anything to do with Christmas or him proposing. I know it doesn't. Something's wrong. I just know something's wrong. I have that feeling in my gut and I'm...I'm scared, Tad."  
  
Tad held Greenlee close, comforting her. "What if I talked to him? We're brothers, maybe I can get to the bottom of this."  
  
"Would you?" Greenlee sniffled.  
  
"Of course I would," Tad assured her. "Of course. Let's get a hold of the matter at hand here first, OK. We'll get your car filled up and get you off to work so Giovanna Cosmetics doesn't go under. Then I'll go rent myself a car and get down to the hospital to talk to Jake. How does that sound?" Greenlee nodded. "Alright then. Let's go."  
  
Greenlee wiped her eyes again. "Why are you here anyway?" she asked him.  
  
"Car accident."  
  
"Oh my God, is everyone OK?"  
  
"Yeah, it wasn't too bad. Jamie took out a stop sign. I guess he was just a little excited about the whole license thing." Tad paused. "But do me a favor, Greenlee. Brooke doesn't know it was Jamie's fault she thinks it was me."  
  
"Oh, don't worry I won't tell Brooke." Tad was glad to see a little bit of a smile start to show on Greenlee's face as he began to help her on her way.  
  
  
  
"...Yeah, and just page me if there's an emergency. Thanks, Gwen." Jake hung up the phone and proceeded back towards the sofa and sat. Laying out in front of him was the paper from the day before, flattened out to get rid of a few of the wrinkles. Jake reached out to touch it, but didn't. He just wanted to take that paper and tear it into pieces. Maybe by doing that, all of this would end.  
  
A knock at the door shook Jake from his trance like state. He stood and walked over, swinging it inward.  
  
"Tad," Jake said, moving aside, allowing him to enter. "I didn't expect to see you here this morning."  
  
"Likewise," Tad said. "Greenlee told me you were going to work, but the hospital told me you called in sick or something."  
  
"You saw Greenlee?"  
  
Tad walked passed him and Jake closed the door. Spinning around to face him, Tad spoke. "Now, I'm going to ask you straight out, and pardon my bluntness, but what the hell is going on with you?"  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"You might think you have everyone fooled, Jake, but you don't know how wrong you are."  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about." Jake walked back to the sofa and took a seat.  
  
"You don't." Tad followed Jake, standing before him, face to face as he spoke. "Well let me try to make it a little more clear for you. Greenlee, your roommate, your girlfriend, remember her?"  
  
"I don't need your sarcasm, Tad."  
  
"And she doesn't need you lying to her, Jake...and neither do I. We grew up together. We spent time together that nobody but brothers could even imagine. Now not only does she know when something's wrong, I do to." Tad paused, waiting for Jake's response, but then continued. "Whatever this is that you're hiding from us, whatever it is, it's tearing Greenlee apart inside. If you love her like you say you love her...and I know you do, why don't you just come clean?"  
  
"It's not as easy as that."  
  
"He speaks," Tad exclaimed. "Good, now we're getting somewhere. Why don't you just tell me what's up? Maybe I could help."  
  
"No, I don't think you can."  
  
"Why don't you give it a shot"  
  
"Do you want to know?" Jake's voice increased in volume. "Do you really want to know what's wrong? Then I'll tell you, Tad." 


	5. Chapter Five

Tad took a seat on the sofa beside his brother. . "I'm not hiding this to hurt her," Jake said. "I'm trying to protect her."  
  
"Protect Greenlee?" Tad asked. "From what?"  
  
"Heartbreak." Jake laughed softly, realizing his poor choice of words. "I was trying to protect you all. Mom, Pop, you."  
  
"You know that you don't need to hide anything from us. We'd do anything to help you."  
  
"This would kill mom," Jake said, taking note again at his word choice.  
  
"This is really serious." Tad leaned forward in his seat.  
  
"My..." Jake began. He couldn't seem to find the right words. "I'm..." There was no easy way to say it. "I'm sick, Tad."  
  
"What do you mean?" Tad asked, concerned. "How sick are we talking here?"  
  
"It's my heart," Jake said, trying to think of a simple, non-medical way to explain it to him. "It's stretched out and it's not pumping enough blood."  
  
"How did this happen, Pop doesn't have a..."  
  
"It's not hereditary. They don't know what causes it."  
  
Tad was shocked. He was left almost speechless. "Do you...you have a good doctor?" Tad managed to ask. Jake leaned forward, taking the piece of paper and handing it to Tad. "David Hayward. You're seeing him?"  
  
"No," Jake said, rubbing his eyes. "And I don't think I'm going to either."  
  
"But, you were referred to him?"  
  
Jake nodded. "A world renowned surgeon with a criminal record, who forced Pop into resigning as chief of staff and almost got me fired and thrown in jail for attempted murder." Jake raised his eyebrows at Tad. "This is who I should have operate on me? I don't trust him as far as I could throw him."  
  
"We can explore our options..."  
  
"Don't you see, Tad? David Hayward is my only option."  
  
"Well, if that's the case, maybe you should consider it?"  
  
"And have him shoot me with the same stuff he used on...on Dixie?"  
  
Tad sat back, thinking quickly of Dixie. "As much as I can't stand David Hayward. And you know what I would have done to him for what he did to Dixie... He kept her from dying, Jake."  
  
"OK." Jake stood. "OK, let's say I do go to Hayward for help, and he administers this... miracle drug. It might have helped Dixie, Tad, but I'm not her. It could work completely opposite with me. If he even gives me that drug. Don't forget, it's partly because of me that he's not practicing medicine at the Hospital."  
  
"So you think he might give you another drug to kill you?"  
  
"You think he won't? He's done it before. Look at Adam Chandler."  
  
Tad took a deep breath. "Fine, OK," he said. "Then where does that leave us?"  
  
"Square one." Jake sat back down again. "Waiting for a transplant that might never come."  
  
"You don't know that. I bet Pop knows somebody who could help you. He's close with a lot of doctors."  
  
"No," Jake shook his head. "No, Tad. Nobody else can know about this. Not Mom, not Pop and not Greenlee."  
  
"You're just going to go around lying to them? You need help, Jake."  
  
"You think I don't know that? Don't you think I know, Tad? I'm scared out of my mind. I think about what's going to happen to me and I think of everything I have here... Everything I could have. Greenlee... for God's sake, Tad, I bought her a ring. I was going to ask her to marry me. I'll never have that. Never. " Tad couldn't bring himself to say a word as Jake spoke. The truth was, Tad was just as afraid as Jake. "I'm not ready to die."  
  
"Then don't just sit back and wait for it," Tad said.  
  
Jake stood once again. "I thought you of all people would understand this whole thing."  
  
"I understand it all too well. I understand that you don't trust David Hayward. I understand how you feel. What I don't understand is why you won't ask for help. You're not protecting anyone by hiding this from them, Jake. Not Mom, not Pop, and especially not Greenlee. It's just going to hurt them more, the longer you keep it a secret."  
  
"You know what?" Jake said, walking to the door. "I think it's time for you to leave."  
  
"You share an apartment with her." Tad approached him. "She already has a feeling that something's not right. How long do you think that it's going to take Greenlee to find out? Because she will figure out what's going on."  
  
"Get out, Tad." Jake swung the door inward.  
  
"You can do whatever you want about this, Jake. Don't tell anyone if you don't want to. But I don't care what I have to do, I'm not going to just sit by... and watch this happen."  
  
"Do me a favor, Tad. Stay out of this. It's not your concern."  
  
"You are my concern, Jake. You're my little brother."  
  
"Don't pull that baby brother stuff on me." Tad walked out of the apartment and faced Jake in the doorway. "Goodbye, Tad," Jake said coldly, closing the door.  
  
Jake rested his back against the door, leaning his head back. He brought his hands up, rubbed his eyes, and then ran his fingers back through his hair, taking a deep breath as he spoke. "What have I done?" 


	6. Chapter Six

"Oh, come on, Jamie," JR said as the two boys stood in the boathouse. "Have a little fun for a change."  
  
"I'll pass on the fun," Jamie said. "I'm already in deep water for wrecking the car."  
  
"You said that your Dad took care of that. All you have to do is pay him back."  
  
"Which is even more of a reason I can't go with you guys. I couldn't pay my way and pay Dad back for the car."  
  
"You can take all the time you need to pay Tad back for busting up the car. This concert is only playing for one night."  
  
"Sorry, JR," Jamie said. He stood and began pacing the boathouse.  
  
"There's got to be some way that you can come with us."  
  
"Yeah, if the tickets were free." JR raised his eyebrows and bit his bottom lip. "They're not free, JR."  
  
"I'll pay for your ticket, just come with us."  
  
"Then I'll owe you too. I'll be paying off debt until I'm 90."  
  
"Merry Christmas," JR said. "You've got the tickets and you don't have to pay me back. Just get your folks to let you go."  
  
"I don't know," Jamie said. "I don't think Christmas is a good time to leave Dad alone."  
  
"We're not going for a week, it's only one day. He won't even miss you. We'll be home in time for Christmas and Jake's birthday."  
  
"I'll give it a try, but don't count on anything."  
  
  
  
"Oh, Tad," Ruth Martin said as she hurried around the kitchen. Tad held a mixing bowl and a wooden spoon, putting almost no effort into stirring the contents. "You're getting flour all over the floor."  
  
"Sorry," Tad said, placing the bowl back down on the counter. He ran his finger around the inside of it and then licked off the creamy batter.  
  
"What's bothering you?"  
  
"It's nothing," Tad said. He couldn't be the one to break the news to his parents about Jake. "I just have something on my mind."  
  
"This is more than just a little something. I know you, Tad."  
  
"Really, Mom," Tad said, putting his finger back in the bowl. "It's just something I need to figure out on my own."  
  
"You're sure?"  
  
Tad nodded. "Yeah," he said. "You know what I could use your help with though? Finding a Christmas slash Birthday present for Jake."  
  
The doorbell rang. "I'm sure we could figure something out," Ruth said as she walked to the front door and opened it. Standing outside, her scarf wrapped tightly around her neck and arms folded across her chest, was Greenlee. "Greenlee, come in," Ruth said. Greenlee stepped inside from the cold, untying her scarf. "Let me make you a cup of coffee."  
  
"Thanks, but no," Greenlee said. "I can't stay long. I was hoping maybe Tad was here."  
  
"Someone beckoned?" Tad said, coming out of the kitchen. "Greenlee. What's up?"  
  
"Do you have a minute?" Greenlee asked.  
  
"Sure," Tad said, approaching her. "I'll be right back," he said to Ruth as he grabbed his coat. He and Greenlee stepped outside. Tad pulled his collar up over his ears.  
  
"You haven't seen Jake today, have you?" Greenlee asked.  
  
"No," Tad said. "Why, he's not at home?"  
  
"Or at the hospital. I couldn't think of anywhere else he might be. Did he tell you anything?"  
  
"He didn't say a thing to me," Tad said. "I'm sure you have nothing to worry about."  
  
Greenlee pushed her hair behind her ears. "He's never been this way. We used to be able to tell eachother everything, but now...I can't..."  
  
"Listen to me, Greenlee," Tad said, taking hold of Greenlee's arms to steady her. "I'm sure everything is fine. Now you've never been like this before."  
  
"I've never had to deal with something like this before."  
  
"You're going to make yourself paranoid." Tad paused. "Deal with something like what before?"  
  
"I don't know!" Greenlee said. "I don't know. I finally found somebody who I love more than anything in the world... and I thought that he felt the same way about me..."  
  
"He does, Greenlee. Look what you're doing to yourself. Take it easy. Jake has everything under control."  
  
"What exactly does he have under control?" Greenlee asked. He didn't answer her. "Tell me, Tad. Is deceit a part of the criteria for being a member of the Martin family?  
  
  
  
It was a long drive. In some ways too long, and in others not long enough. Finally Jake had arrived, to his own surprise. He stepped out of the car and slowly made his way to the door, pausing for a long time before knocking.  
  
Maybe there would be no answer, he thought. Then at least he could have the excuse that he tried. That he gave it a shot. But if there was no answer, then Jake's future would be over. This was his last hope, his only hope.  
  
Jake brought his hand up to knock on the door again, and was in mid swing when the door swung open.  
  
"I need your help," Jake said.  
  
"My, my," David Hayward stood in the doorway, a strange smirk on his face. "How the mighty have fallen." 


	7. Chapter Seven

"Deceit?" Tad said. "That's a little harsh, don't you think?"  
  
"It's the same thing with both of you," Greenlee yelled. "It's like telling me the truth would kill you. What is it that you don't think I could handle?"  
  
"Will you keep your voice down."  
  
"It was Jake, wasn't it? He put you up to this... to...to keeping his little secret."  
  
"He didn't put me up to anything..."  
  
"Liar! You're a liar, Tad."  
  
"Where do you get off?" Tad asked. "don't you realize that I'm on your side? I'm just as worried as you are."  
  
"You talked to him. Now tell me. Do we have a reason to be worried?" Tad was silent, but Greenlee knew the answer. "What is it that Jake has under control?"  
  
"Don't make me do this, Greenlee," Tad pleaded with her. "You can't expect me to do this."  
  
"No, I guess I can't," Greenlee said sarcastically. "I don't know what I was thinking."  
  
"Greenlee," Tad began, "You don't get it."  
  
"No, I don't get it, Tad. Why don't you explain it to me? Help me 'get it'."  
  
"I want to... I really wish I could, but... talk to Jake. You need to talk to him."  
  
"I know that and you...know that, but Jake would rather just keep his distance from whatever this is."  
  
"Greenlee, what did the hospital tell you when you went in this morning?"  
  
"Like you care," she paused. "Tad was not amused with her attitude. "They told me that he didn't get in yet."  
  
"What time was that?"  
  
"About nine o'clock. What difference does that make?"  
  
"Maybe he was running late, or stopped for a cup of coffee."  
  
"Jake is never... Why am I arguing with you? You know what's going on and you're just not saying anything. You're just as much involved with this as he is," Greenlee paused. "You're covering for him."  
  
"I'm not."  
  
"Do I know her, Tad?"  
  
"Know who? What are you talking about?"  
  
"This other girl, the one Jake's got on the side. I know how it is, I've been there before. He's had enough of me, he's moving on."  
  
"It's not like that. Jake would never..."  
  
"Who is she?"  
  
  
  
Jake and David stood in the doorway, silent. David was reluctant to step aside, but eventually did, allowing Jake to enter.  
  
"Well tell me, Dr. Martin," David asked. "To what do I owe the great pleasure of your visit?"  
  
Jake couldn't stand David Hayward. Everything about the doctor made him quiver. He still didn't know how much trust he could put in David. "Maybe this was a bad idea," Jake said.  
  
"Don't be shy, Jake," David said, moving to block the door so Jake couldn't leave. "You need me to help you?"  
  
Jake couldn't figure out David's angle. What did he want? His help wouldn't be free, and Jake didn't want to think of what he might have to pay for it.  
  
"You're the person to talk to about the heart," Jake said.  
  
"Oh," David said, moving back further into the cabin. You need medical advice. I'm no longer employed in Pine Valley if I remember correctly. I can't help you."  
  
"Wait," Jake pleaded. "I don't need your medical advice. I need your medical help."  
  
"You?!" David exclaimed. "The great Jake Martin, who's family is full of doctors and nurses?" David could see that Jake was serious. "What exactly is your problem?" David asked him, almost uninterested.  
  
"Have you ever seen dilated cardiomyopathy?"  
  
"That's a rare condition. Sure, I've seen it."  
  
"I need you to treat it."  
  
"In who? Who's the patient?"  
  
Jake paused before he spoke. "I am."  
  
"You," David was shocked. "You want me to treat you?"  
  
"Will you?" Jake asked him seriously.  
  
"David thought for a moment. "What's in this for me?" he asked.  
  
"Name it." 


	8. Chapter Eight

"There is no other woman, Greenlee," Tad said.  
  
"And I should believe you...why?" Greenlee asked him, practically in tears.  
  
"You're getting all worked up for no reason. I swear to you, there's nobody else."  
  
"The why the secretism, huh? The lies?"  
  
"I'll tell you the truth," Tad said. "I don't know why Jake is keeping this to himself." Tad was telling the truth, Jake had so many people that would give anything to help him, but he still hid his problem. "Please believe that," Tad begged her.  
  
"I'm sorry," Greenlee said. "I don't mean to take this out on you. It's just that it's so..."  
  
"Frustrating. I know. tell him this. Tell Jake how you feel."  
  
"I have, so many times."  
  
"Tell him again. He loves you, Greenlee. Sooner or later he's going to open up to you."  
  
"I hope you're right."  
  
"I do too," Tad thought. "Hey, trust me," he told her.  
  
"Is everything going to be OK?"  
  
"I'm sure it will be." Greenlee wrapped her arms around him.  
  
"Thank you, Tad."  
  
"That's why I'm here." Tad smiled. "Human Kleenex. There's nothing better than that."  
  
Greenlee looked up at him and wiped her eyes. "I should get going," she said. "I'll let you get back to your cookies." Tad gave Greenlee a look as if to ask her how she knew what he was doing. "The flour on your shirt. It's a dead give away." She patted him on the shoulder. "See you later."  
  
"Anytime," Tad said. "You know where to find me."  
  
"Hopefully not in a house that you've burnt to the ground."  
  
"Funny," Tad said, pointing his finger at her. "Very funny. Just for that one, I'll make sure to save you a chocolate chip."  
  
"I'll bring the milk."  
  
"It's a date," Tad paused. "Better not call it that, don't want to ruffle Jake's feathers."  
  
"Well, what else would you call getting together for... cookies and milk?"  
  
"Kindergarten."  
  
Greenlee smiled and shook her head. "Goodbye, Tad."  
  
  
  
"Name it?" David asked. "You're serious about this." Jake didn't answer. "Hmm," David said, taping his temple with his finger. "I think you know what I want, Doc."  
  
Jake thought for a moment and then nodded his head. "Reinstatement," he said. "Done, fine."  
  
"It's not quite that simple," David said. Jake looked at him curiously. "You've got part of it right. Reinstatement is a start."  
  
"What else?"  
  
"What else." David turned an smiled. "How about, in addition to my reinstatement at PVH, you take any of the grievances you put on my record, off my record." Jake nodded. "And... you won't file any further grievances on me."  
  
"Sounds fair. Reinstatement with a clean record. Dea..."  
  
"Not quite," David interrupted him. "I still have one more condition."  
  
"And that is?"  
  
"Well, it's quite simple actually. Your job."  
  
"Excuse me?" Jake asked.  
  
"I want what you have," David explained. "I want you to resign as chief of staff and give your job to me." Jake's eyes widened. "But don't jump to any conclusions now. I'll give you some time to consider my offer...of course."  
  
"Of course."  
  
"The way I see it though," David said. "You don't have much of a choice."  
  
"No, I guess I don't," Jake said. "I don't need to take anymore time to think about it. My life is on the line here, David." Jake walked closer to David until they stood face to face. "I can give you my decision right now." 


	9. Chapter Nine

The key turned in the door to the apartment and Greenlee pushed her way inside. She removed her scarf and hung it on a chair. She began to unbutton her jacket as she walked further inside.  
  
"Jake!" she called. "Are you home yet?" There was no answer as she went from room to room looking. "Jake!" He wasn't there, but that didn't surprise her. She was just hoping that he might be home.  
  
Greenlee walked over to the sofa and took a seat. She threw her feet up, crossing them at the ankles, and reached over for a folder, which contained papers that she had brought home to work on from the office. Hitting it with her fingers, Greenlee knocked the papers to the floor.  
  
"I just can't win today," Greenlee said as she bent down to pick them up. As she grabbed the papers and started to sit erect, Greenlee glanced at the table. Her eye caught a glimpse of a prescription paper, and her curiosity getting the best of her, she took hold of it.  
  
"What's this?" Greenlee asked, reading the header. "Dr. Alan Morgan," Greenlee thought, remembering the phone call Jake had received the other day from Oak Haven. "Why would Jake have David's number? He hates David. Everyone...hates David." Greenlee paused and then again began to think aloud. "David Hayward...Doctor...Oak Haven..." She shook her head, trying to think of a logical connection between David and Jake. That was useless though. Nothing about the past few days had been logical. Why would she be able to make sense of it now?  
  
As Greenlee grew more and more curious, she knew that she had to find out what was going on. Maybe David Hayward was the person who would be able to give her the answers she was looking for. She stood once again, grabbing her coat and heading towards the door. Greenlee swung it inward.  
  
"Jake," she said, in shock, seeing him standing in front of her.  
  
"Are you going somewhere?" he asked her.  
  
"No," she lied. "No. You're home early." Jake walked into the apartment and Greenlee followed him. "Jake?"  
  
Jake closed his eyes and took a deep breath before he turned to face her. "I think you should sit down," he said. "We need to talk."  
  
  
  
"No, we're going to need to sit on that story for now," Brooke said over the phone as she sat in her office at Tempo Magazine. "Run the first piece instead... Yeah, that one..." the door opened and Tad stuck his head in. Brooke motioned for him to enter. "And how do you feel about the advertising?.. That's perfect...Edmund, you're a life saver...Bye."  
  
"Having problems with the next issue?" Tad asked her, placing a styrofoam take-out container on the desk in front of her.  
  
"It's like this all the time," she said. "But this Holiday issue just isn't falling together the way it should. We have advertisers pulling out, stories falling through."  
  
"Sounds like a mess." Brooke raised her eyebrows at him. "I got you mushu pork. Light on the mushu, heavy on the pork."  
  
"Thanks," she said as Tad pulled out his container and a small ziploc bag.  
  
"Cookie?" he asked, extending the bag to her. Brooke shook her head. "Suit yourself." He reached his hand into the bag and took a bite of one of the cookies. "Are you sure?" he asked her again, his mouth full. He swallowed. "I make a mean chocolate chip. Could help you feel better if you're having a rough day."  
  
"This isn't a bad day, Tad," Brooke said. "The magazine is behind schedule, I'm the only one here, Edmund has the flu..." Tad stood and began to walk back towards the door, but stopped and returned to his chair. "What?" Brooke asked.  
  
"It just can't get worse than this," Tad said.  
  
Brooke thought for a moment. "Oh, Tad," she said. "I didn't even think. here I am, talking about my problems. I didn't even realize what you might be feeling with Christmas and Dixie..."  
  
"This has nothing to do with Dixie," Tad said. "I can't do this anymore," he said to himself. "I need to tell you something, Brooke." 


	10. Chapter Ten

"I haven't told anyone this," Tad said. "I know I can trust you, Brooke."  
  
"With all that's happened with Edmund and Maria?" she asked him. "Are you sure you don't want to rethink that?"  
  
"I don't have to rethink anything. Your heart's in the right place. I know that and you know that. I even think Edmund's starting to figure it out." There was silence for a moment as Tad stood and started to pace the office.  
  
"I know that look, Tad," Brooke said. "The one where something's just ripping your heart out..."  
  
"Bad choice of words," Tad said. Brooke didn't understand him. "I ran into Greenlee on Friday at the Pancake Palace. So I go over to her table, sit down and we start talking. Simple stuff, she was concerned about Jake, but we didn't make much of it at the time." Tad took a deep breath and sat again. "Then when I brought the car down I ran into her again. She was... distraught. This thing with Jake was really bothering her, so I went over to talk to him."  
  
"To Jake."  
  
"Yeah," Tad said. "I told him Greenlee was afraid. The way he was avoiding my questions was making me a little nervous too. I thought that something could really be wrong," he paused. "When I finally got him to tell me, to open up...I wish I hadn't. It would have been better if I'd have never known."  
  
"Never knew what?" Brooke asked, walking around the desk and standing right next to him. "Tad?"  
  
"I lied to our parents. I lied to Greenlee. I just... put on a smile and promised everything would be OK. That it was all under control. When the truth is, his heart can give out on him anytime now. Jake could be dead tomorrow."  
  
"Oh, my God," Brooke said softly.  
  
"Heart problems don't just pop up over night. God only knows how long he's been hiding this."  
  
"Is he getting the help he needs?"  
  
"I don't know. He was supposed to see Hayward, but by the way he was talking, I doubt it."  
  
"You know how Jake feels about David."  
  
"Yeah, the same way most everybody feels about David." Tad paused and looked Brooke directly in the eye. "Tell me honestly, Brooke. If you were in Jake's position, would you trust David?"  
  
Brooke returned Tad's stare. "This isn't about Jake, is it? This is about Dixie."  
  
"David Hayward had no right to do what he did to her," Tad exclaimed. "Just because he graduated from medical school, he thinks that gives him the right to play God. Injecting people with unapproved drugs, experimenting on their lives."  
  
"I'm not backing him in any way, Tad," Brooke said. "But look what he did for us. He saved Laura's life. He helped Dixie..."  
  
"If he hadn't given that... that stuff to Dixie, maybe her car wouldn't have gone off the road. He could be the reason she's gone."  
  
"If he hadn't gotten involved, Dixie might not have lived to see her birthday."  
  
"If he hadn't gotten involved, she might have lived to see her son graduate from high school."  
  
"This is all deja vu to you, isn't it? You saw it happen to Dixie, and now you're watching Jake go through the same thing."  
  
"That's all I'm doing, Brooke. Watching. I swore I wouldn't just let this happen."  
  
"You can't stop it from happening. Nobody has the power to do that."  
  
"I'm hoping that somebody does."  
  
"David Hayward?"  
  
"No. Somebody who can treat him legally. I can't watch him go through what Dixie went through. I just can't do it, Brooke."  
  
"Maybe Jake knows what's best," Brooke said. "He is a doctor after all."  
  
"That's what I keep telling myself. But it doesn't help. I know that there just has to be a way for me to help him."  
  
Brooke took his hand in hers. "You can be there for him. What else can you do?"  
  
Tad shook his head. "I don't know. It's just, there should be something. Because if something does hap... I would feel responsible."  
  
"Why?" Brooke asked. "This isn't your fault. You know that."  
  
"It's just that I keep thinking back... of Dixie and I think that if I had been there more for her, instead of this on again off again..."  
  
"Tad..."  
  
"Maybe I could have prevented it."  
  
"You're talking crazy now. Dixie's death was an accident."  
  
"But this is all shaping up the same way. Starting back with the secrets. Don't you see, Brooke? Jake is going through exactly what she did. He turned me away . He doesn't want my help."  
  
"Jake is afraid. He doesn't want to hurt you anymore. That's why he turned you away."  
  
"I can't stay away from this. I can't keep from making this my concern. Not after I've seen something just like it with Dixie."  
  
"Then don't stay away," Brooke told him. "Jake's looking for help, Tad. If he didn't want any help, he wouldn't have said anything to you."  
  
"Then what do I do?" Tad asked.  
  
"I don't know. You know your brother better than anyone. You know what he needs now, even if you don't realize it."  
  
"He needs support, but he won't let anyone..." Tad paused.  
  
"Jake's not ready to let anyone in. He'll find the right time, just like Dixie did. Trust me."  
  
"I do." Tad leaned his head on her shoulder.  
  
"It'll all turn out OK in the end, Tad," Brooke assured him, soothingly. "It will." 


	11. Chapter Eleven

Jake walked over to the sofa and sat. Greenlee watched him and then followed suit. Jake took Greenlee's hand and turned to face her. He took a deep breath before he spoke.  
  
"Greenlee," Jake said. "I love you and you know that I would never do anything to hurt you."  
  
"I know you wouldn't," Greenlee said.  
  
"I haven't been completely honest with you, and I think I need to be."  
  
Greenlee didn't know what Jake was about to say, but she did know that she was about to get the answers that she had been waiting for.  
  
"I know I told you that I was at Oak Haven on Friday with Dr. Morgan discussing a patient."  
  
"You weren't?" Greenlee asked.  
  
"No, I was. But the patient we were discussing..." There was a long pause. "The patient was me."  
  
"What are you talking about, Jake? What do you mean the patient was you?"  
  
"Dr. Morgan is a cardiologist."  
  
"That's the heart. Why do you need to see a heart doctor? Please, Jake." Greenlee began to cry. "Please tell me this isn't serious. It can't be." Jake didn't answer her right away.  
  
"It's not good, Greenlee." The fear was really showing in Jake's eyes. "The doctor says that I need a transplant."  
  
"Oh, God." Greenlee shook her head. "Why didn't you tell me when you found out?"  
  
"I didn't want to upset you."  
  
"But you're telling me now."  
  
"You need to know. I think I finally realized that."  
  
"How'd you figure that out?" Greenlee asked.  
  
"It was a few things. But mostly, it was Tad. he came to me the other day. He was concerned, as concerned as you are and... I threw him out of here. I threw him out without giving it a second thought."  
  
"So Tad knew?" Greenlee said through her tears. "He didn't tell me? I asked him..."  
  
"Don't be angry with him. Please," Jake begged. "I asked him not to say anything... to anybody."  
  
Greenlee was silent for a long time, trying to absorb what Jake was telling her. "What can we do?" she finally asked. "I mean, there is something we can do, right?" Greenlee took the piece of paper into her hand once again. "David. He's a cardiologist. He can do something. Can't he do something?"  
  
"I went to see him," Jake said, pushing Greenlee's hand back down, gently so that she would drop the paper. "He said he would help."  
  
"So what's the problem then?"  
  
"I told him no."  
  
Greenlee was in shock. "What do you mean you told him no? Are you out of your mind?"  
  
Jake stood, walking away from the sofa. "He told me that he would help me for a price. His reinstatement at the hospital with a clean record..."  
  
"And you said no?"  
  
"He wanted me to resign. He wanted me to resign and give my job to him. Put yourself in my position, Greenlee."  
  
Greenlee stood and walked up to him. "I don't get you. He's offering you life and you're worrying about your job?"  
  
"I can't give him what he's asking for."  
  
"No. No you won't give him what he's asking for."  
  
"Why can't you understand this? I don't trust him. How can I?"  
  
"This goes way beyond trust, Jake. You've seen what David can do. He's worked miracles when nothing else seemed possible." She paused. "So, I'm sorry, I don't understand."  
  
"You just expect me to go along with this? With David? Put my life in his hands?"  
  
"Your life isn't in anyone's hands right now, not even your own. Your job at the hospital... is worthless. What are you going to do with it if..."  
  
"Don't say it." Jake stopped her. "Don't even think it."  
  
"Maybe somebody should. You aren't."  
  
"Oh, I am, Greenlee. Every minute I think about it. Everyday since I found out." He paused. "You have no idea what this is like. You can't know. I go to work and wonder if I'll make it through the day. I go to sleep at night and don't know if I'm going to wake up in the morning."  
  
"But you leave me in the dark about the entire thing. My God, Jake. What would have happened if I woke up and you were...Oh, my God." Greenlee walked back over to the sofa and sat, putting her head in her hands.  
  
Jake bit his bottom lip and took a deep breath before he followed after Greenlee. He sat down, wrapping his arms around her and drawing her closer to him. His eyes began to water.  
  
"I'm sorry, Greenlee," Jake said, rocking gently back and forth with her. "I'm so sorry for doing this to you. I never meant to hurt you. You have to know that I would never do anything to hurt you."  
  
"Oh, Jake," Greenlee said through her tears. "What are we going to do?"  
  
"Everything we possibly can do, baby. I'll even go back to David if it makes you feel better. I'll do it for you."  
  
Greenlee shook here head. "We'll find somebody. Don't go back to David if you don't trust him."  
  
She rested her head down on his shoulder. "We've gotten through a lot of things, Greenlee. Right? We'll get through this. Everything will be OK. I promised you I'd do whatever it takes to be there for you, didn't I?" Greenlee just looked at him, tears in her eyes. "I'm going to keep that promise, Greenlee," Jake said, embracing her again. "I swear I am." 


	12. Chapter Twelve

"What do you mean you didn't ask him?" JR asked. "What are you waiting for?"  
  
"You haven't seen Dad lately," Jamie said. "He doesn't seem himself.at all. Look JR, maybe I shouldn't go."  
  
"Sure you should go."  
  
"I don't fell right going and leaving him like this."  
  
"You've been hanging around Joni too long. Start doing stuff because you feel like doing it."  
  
"You mean like you?" Jamie asked crossly.  
  
"What's your problem?" JR asked him. " I guess I was right. Saint Joni is rubbing off on you."  
  
"Leave her out of this JR, or I swear, I'll."  
  
"You'll what? Huh? You'll slug me? Go for it, James," JR said, sticking his chin out, pointing at it. "Let's see what you've got."  
  
Jamie felt his fists clench at his sides. He wanted so much just to haul off and put JR in his place. But he took a deep breath and stuck his hands in his pockets.  
  
"I'm not going to fight you, JR. Some other time maybe."  
  
"What?" JR said, following Jamie as he started to walk away. "Where are you going, Jamie, huh?"  
  
"The same place you should be going," Jamie said without turning to face him. "Martin Family tree trimming."  
  
"Yeah, well go ahead," JR said, walking back. "Go hang those stupid little glass ornaments. I'm not much in the spirit this year."  
  
Jamie stopped and turned back to JR, who had taken a seat. "You can't just not show up," Jamie said.  
  
"Watch me," JR said. Jamie sat down next to him. There was silence for a moment before JR spoke again. "Mom loved the holidays," he said. "Her favorite time of the year." He paused. "This is the first Christmas without her here."  
  
"The holidays are hard on you too," Jamie said. "Look I'm sorry JR I didn't think."  
  
"No. I guess you didn't. Did you Jamie?" JR tried to stay tough and seem macho, but Jamie could tell that he was hurting. "This year, I just want to stay as far away from Pine Valley as I possibly can. I don't want anything to do with any phony family garbage, or.people feeling sorry for me just because she's gone. I don't want that, Jamie. Don't you get it?"  
  
"Sure I get it." Jamie said, turning towards him. "She was your mother, JR. But you're not the only one who lost her. You're not the only one who's hurting this Christmas. We all need eachother to get through this."  
  
"Another lesson you learned from Joni?" JR asked.  
  
"No," Jamie answered. "I've seen how you and Dad both deal with this.. You two were the closest to her. You were, JR. And I know that we need eachother, because it still hurts. Especially now. We need to be the family that Dixie loved. For her, JR. For your mom." Jamie stood and faced him. "So what do you say? Forget the concert. Let's go hang some stupid little glass ornaments."  
  
  
  
Ruth Martin made her way to open the front door. A smile appeared on her face as she swung it inward.  
  
"Ho Ho Ho," Jake said as he and Greenlee entered. He kissed his mother. "It's starting to snow." Jake paused and smelled the air. "Boy, it smells great in here."  
  
"We've been baking cookies all week," Ruth said. "Of course, if you came to visit a little more often..."  
  
"I know, I know," Jake smiled. "With all the work I've had at the hospital..."  
  
"My son the doctor. That job will be the death of you."  
  
"I keep telling him to take some time off," Greenlee said.  
  
"Men are stubborn, dear," Ruth said, lightly touching her arm. She looked at Jake. "You're brother's in the kitchen, why don't you go tell him you're here." Jake didn't move for a moment, but then slowly began to make his way into the kitchen. Greenlee went to follow him when Ruth spoke again. "Greenlee," she said. "Would you help me get the ornaments out of storage?"  
  
Greenlee took a deep breath. She wanted to say no, but she knew that this was just a ploy to get the brothers alone together in the same room. "Sure," Greenlee finally said.  
  
Jake walked into the kitchen and saw Tad standing over the stove. He wasn't doing anything, just standing there.  
  
"Hey," Jake said as the door closed behind him.  
  
"Hey," Tad said, turning briefly to face him.  
  
The silence in the room was awkward and deafening. Jake walked over to Tad and leaned up against the counter top. They didn't say anything to eachother for a long time. The tension in the room was so thick it could be cut with a knife.  
  
"Look, Tad," Jake finally broke the silence. "What I said to you in the apartment... I'm really sorry. I didn't mean it."  
  
"Yeah," Tad said. "I know you didn't."  
  
"It's just that..." Jake began to walk around the room. "This whole thing has got me so... freaked." He paused and looked at Tad. "Forgive me? Please."  
  
Tad approached Jake and threw his arms around him. "I wouldn't be a good brother if I didn't forgive you. Besides, I've got some stuff of mine in your apartment. How else am I going to get it out of there?" They both smiled, still in an embrace as the kitchen door pushed open and Greenlee stuck her head in.  
  
"Well, nothing's broken, so I guess the coast is clear," Greenlee said as se walked further into the kitchen. "Brooke just got here."  
  
"Go on," Jake said to Tad. Greenlee walked closer to Jake as Tad exited the kitchen.  
  
We still have a little time before everything is set for the trimming," Greenlee said, wrapping her arms around him.  
  
"I know," Jake said. "That's why I think now would be a good time."  
  
"For what?" Greenlee asked as Jake took her hand and led her outside. The snow had begun to coat the ground and it was really starting to feel like Christmas.  
  
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Jake asked her. Greenlee smiled. "And I'm here watching the snow fall with the most beautiful woman around."  
  
"Oh, Jake."  
  
Jake turned so that they were face to face. "I knew from the moment I first saw you," he said. "Through everything we've faced, everything we've gone through in the past, I knew that no matter what happened, I would never stop loving you. You're the light of my life...I guess what I'm trying to say is..." Jake reached into his pocket. As tears welled up in Greenlee's eyes, Jake got down on one knee. "Greenlee Smythe. Would you make me the luckiest man in the world? Will you marry me?"  
  
"Oh, my God," Greenlee said as her hands went up to her mouth. She was crying even harder now. "Yes. Yes," she said through her tears. Jake slowly slipped the diamond on her finger as her right hand wiped her eyes.  
  
Greenlee looked down at the ring and then embraced Jake once again. "I love you so much," she said. "I wish we could stay like this forever."  
  
"As long as I'm with you, Greenlee, I have all that I'll ever need."  
  
Their eyes met briefly and Jake's hand came up and gently ran over her cheek. He lowered his head and their lips locked. As the snow continued to fall, the same desire went through Jake's mind. He wished that they could stay like that forever. 


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Meanwhile, Tad walked out of the kitchen. Brooke had just taken her coat off as Tad approached her.  
  
"You look a lot better," Brooke said to him.  
  
"Me and Jake had a nice conversation, settled some things."  
  
"How is he?"  
  
"So far, everything seems to be OK. He's in there with Greenlee now."  
  
"He told her then?" Brooke asked.  
  
"I think so. I haven't had a minute alone to talk to her." Tad paused. "Brooke, I just want to say thanks."  
  
"For what?" Brooke asked.  
  
"The other day at Tempo. Things have been... bad... with Christmas and..."  
  
"Dixie. I know you miss her, Tad."  
  
"More than anything," Tad said as the doorbell rang. He made his way to the door. "I got it," he called as he pulled the door inward. "Jamie, JR." Tad moved aside, letting them enter.  
  
"You guys didn't start yet, did you?" Jamie asked.  
  
"Not yet," Tad said. "You know how long it takes your grandfather to get everything ready. Christmas is a big holiday in the Martin house."  
  
JR didn't say a word, but just turned around and walked back out the front door.  
  
"JR," Jamie said, turning to go after him. Tad gently grabbed his shoulder.  
  
"Stay in her," tad said as he went to the door, picked up his coat and left the house after JR.  
  
JR hadn't gone very far. He was sitting on the front porch, his arms folded across his chest, just staring out at the horizon. Tad quietly walked over to him. After a moment, Tad spoke.  
  
"You want to talk?" he asked. JR shook his head. Tad sat down beside him. "I know you're probably tired of people telling you that they know how you feel." Tad paused. "But take it from me, JR. I know how you feel."  
  
JR wiped his eyes with his sleeve. "I didn't think it would be this hard." JR kept a forward stare. Tad could just barely see JR's lips begin to quiver. "It's not fair." Tears began to well up in JR's eyes. "She should still be here."  
  
"Yeah," Tad said, the pain dreadfully obvious in his voice.  
  
"And... if she was here right now, she would know how to keep it from hurting so much."  
  
"She always did have a way to brighten up the whole world." Tad put his arm around JR's shoulder. "And that's why I just know that when I stare out there every night, just like tonight, that she's there... among the stars." Tad went into his pocket. "I was going to wait to give you this," Tad said, looking at the contents in his hand. "This was really special to your mom. I was going to... give it back to her once I got to Switzerland." Tad paused, finding it hard to get the words out. "I think you should have it."  
  
Tad placed his hand in JR's, passing him the object. JR opened his hand. "Mom's star. Tad, I can't take this." JR tried to give it back to him, but Tad shook his head and pushed JR's hand back.  
  
"She would have wanted you to have it," Tad said. "Your mom put a lot of faith in the stars, JR."  
  
"I know... you guys... used to wish on your star at Christmas. Sometimes... me and Jamie, we used to watch you two through the window." He paused. "You and Mom were meant for eachother."  
  
"She loved you so much, JR. More than anything in the world. She wouldn't want to see you unhappy," Tad paused. "So I want you to take your mother's star. Know she's with you wherever you go."  
  
"She's always with me," JR said.  
  
"I know," Tad said, as he went back to staring out at the star lit sky. "I just think every now and then it helps to have a little reminder." 


	14. Chapter Fourteen

Tad and JR sat silently together for a while. Nothing else seemed to matter at that moment, except for the fact that they shared the same feelings over Dixie's tragic death. This was one of the first times since Dixie's memorial that Tad and JR actually took a moment to sit down together and start to sort through their feelings. It had been a trying time for both of them, and would continue to be, but at least now, JR had come to realize that Tad was there to back him up.  
  
The peace and serenity of the evening was soon interrupted. A blood curdling scream came from around the back of the house. Tad and JR shot eachother a quick glance and jumped to their feet to run around back.  
  
The screaming continued as JR and Tad reached the yard. Greenlee was on her knees. "Oh, my God." she cried. "Oh, God. He's dead."  
  
Tad pushed his way to her. Jake was lying limp in her arms. "Jamie, go call an ambulance." Jamie stood in shock. "Go, Jamie! Now!" Tad yelled. Jamie ran back into the house.  
  
"He just collapsed," Greenlee said.  
  
"Lay him down," Tad said, putting his fingers on Jake's neck, checking for a pulse. He pushed the hair back on his head. "OK, alright. Tilt his head back and pinch his nose."  
  
"Do you know what you're doing?" Brooke asked.  
  
"Trust me," Tad said and then looked at Greenlee. "Now listen to me. When I tell you to, give him a good breath." Greenlee nodded nervously. Tad took the heel of his hands and pressed on Jake's chest. "Now," he said after a few times. Greenlee breathed. Tad went back to work as Jamie ran out of the house.  
  
"They're on their way," Jamie said. He stood back and watched as Tad continued CPR on Jake. His mouth was gaping as he looked over at his mother.  
  
"Again," Tad said to Greenlee. "Come on, Jake. Don't you dare give up on us now," Tad said, continuing compressions. "Again."  
  
All eyes were tear filled and silence filled the air, except for Tad giving instructions to Greenlee, when to breath. It wasn't hard for anyone to hear the sirens of the ambulance as it approached the Martin house. It was almost a sound of relief.  
  
The EMTs appeared in the yard and took over working on Jake. Tad and Greenlee stood and watched helplessly as the EMTs lifted him onto a stretcher and began to wheel him back to the ambulance.  
  
"Go with him, Greenlee," Tad said. "We'll meet you at the hospital." Greenlee didn't say a word, but the look in her eyes thanked Tad as she ran to follow Jake.  
  
"We'll take the boys," Ruth said. "Brooke?" she asked, motioning towards Tad.  
  
Brooke nodded. "Don't worry," Brooke assured her. "JR, Jamie. Go with Joe and Ruth. We'll be right behind you."  
  
Tad walked back into the house as JR and Jamie left for the hospital with his parents. Brooke stood in the doorway expecting a disaster.  
  
"It's happening all over again," Tad said, turning to her. "I can't go through this again, Brooke. Not with my brother. Not with Jake."  
  
Brooke slowly moved closer to him. She lightly touched Tad's shoulder. Tad bent his head down and rested it on the top of hers as she comfortingly put her arms around him.  
  
"Jake's going to be fine, Tad," Brooke said.  
  
"I want to believe that . I really do, but I can't hope for the best when..."  
  
"Don't even talk like that," Brooke said. "You know better than that, Tad." Tad had a solemn look on his face. "Come on, let's go. I'll drive."  
  
Tad shook his head. "I can't."  
  
"Come on." Brooke took his hand. Tad squeezed it lightly. "It's OK. Let's go."  
  
  
  
Greenlee paced back and forth in the hospital waiting room. She kept looking up at the clock. Jamie and JR sat with their heads in their hands.  
  
"Have you heard anything?" Brooke asked as she entered the room with Tad.  
  
"Not yet," JR said. "Joe and Ruth are out trying to figure out what's going on."  
  
Tad walked over to Greenlee. She sunk her head into his chest, in tears. "We've done everything we could do," Tad said, putting his arms around her. "We did good, Greenlee."  
  
"I wish he would have just let David help him," Greenlee said. "He just asked for too much. David asked for too much."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Tad asked.  
  
"David..." Greenlee managed to say between her tears. "He wanted Jake to give him a clean record and... the chief of staff position. Jake turned him down." Tad didn't say a word. He pulled away from her and quickly exited the waiting room. "Tad!" Greenlee called after him. "Where are you..." she looked at Brooke. "Where is he going?" Brooke shook her head as they both stood speechless.  
  
  
  
Brooke was going to be upset that he had taken her car, but at that moment, the thought of that was furthest from Tad's mind.  
  
He drove for a long time. He wasn't even consciously paying attention to where he was going. He just knew that he would get there. The only thing that was on Tad's mind at that very moment was Jake, and the fear of losing his brother.  
  
The car came to a stop and Tad stepped out. He made his way to the front door and banged on it loudly. After a moment, the door swung open. David Hayward stood in the entrance.  
  
Tad pushed his way inside, pinning David up against the wall of the cabin. "Listen to me you son of a bitch," Tad said. "If Jake dies, I'll kill you myself." 


	15. Chapter Fifteen

David gasped for breath behind the force of Tad's hands. "I'll kill you," Tad said. "I swear I will."  
  
David managed to get out a few words. "I'm not worth anything to you dead," he said.  
  
"Somehow I doubt that." Tad loosened his grip and David slipped away from the wall, massaging his neck.  
  
"You're lucky I don't call the police."  
  
"You're lucky I don't strangle you," Tad said. "Now sit down."  
  
David didn't respond. Tad put his hands on David's shoulders and pushed him down into a chair. "Sit down!" David was silent. "And listen." Tad stood over him. "Despite what you may think, you're not God's gift to man."  
  
"What's the matter, Tad?" David said, heartlessly. "Is this because Jake is more devoted to his job than his life?" he paused. "Or are you still sore over Dixie?"  
  
Tad wanted to kill David right there. He felt his hands just itching to wrap around his neck. "You bring up Dixie one more time and you won't ever have to worry about practicing medicine again."  
  
"I don't respond well to threats," David said. "You should know that, Tad."  
  
"Well, you'd better start responding to something," Tad warned.  
  
"If I were you, I'd be pleading for my life right now, because at this point, you're lucky you're still sitting there in one piece."  
  
"What exactly is it that you want from me, Tad?" David asked.  
  
"You know all too well what I want," Tad said. "My car is parked outside. If you know what's good for you, you'll come with me."  
  
"I already told Jake my conditions..."  
  
"You feel like bargaining with life, David? Is that the way we're going to play this?" He turned away from David, walked over to the desk and began digging through the drawers.  
  
"What the hell are you doing?" David asked as he watched Tad empty everything onto the floor.  
  
"Here." Tad pulled out a small bottle. "What's this one, David, huh?" David's eyes nervously widened. "Now I'm not a doctor, but something tells me that if you got injected with this... accidentally of course... I don't know, if you fell on the needle or something. It wouldn't be good. Would it?" Tad walked over and slammed the bottle down in front of him. "You don't think I can be as cold-hearted and thoughtless as you are? Why don't you try me?"  
  
  
  
"They've been in there for hours," Greenlee said. "How come we haven't heard anything?"  
  
"I'm sure the doctors have everything under control," Brooke said.  
  
"Hey, mom?" Jamie asked, reentering the waiting room. "I thought you said your car was out in the lot."  
  
"It is," Brooke said. "Second row."  
  
"It's not there. We looked like four times."  
  
Brooke checked her pockets. "Did I give you the keys?" she asked Jamie. He shook his head. "Where are they then?" Brooke continued to check her pockets.  
  
"You came with Dad. Maybe he knows."  
  
Brooke paused. "He took my car," Brooke said. "Tad ran out of here so fast... He took my car."  
  
"What are you going to do?"  
  
"What can I do? I don't even know where he went."  
  
"Tad was just blowing off some steam when he left," JR said.  
  
"He'll be back."  
  
"Dad won't do anything crazy," Jamie assured Brooke. "He's just... venting."  
  
Brooke shook her head and raised her eyebrows. "He could have 'vented' without the car, don't you think?"  
  
"Who are we talking about?" They all looked towards the door.  
  
Tad was standing there. "I didn't miss anything juicy I hope."  
  
"Where have you been?" Brooke approached him.  
  
"Who, me?" Tad said innocently.  
  
"And why do you look so... thrilled?"  
  
"Thrilled? Me?" Tad asked her. "Whatever gave you that idea?"  
  
JR and Jamie looked at eachother as Brooke's mouth gaped slightly. "What do you have up your sleeve?" Brooke asked.  
  
"Wait," Tad said as he walked over and sat beside Greenlee.  
  
"You'll find out soon enough." He was silent for a moment before he turned to Greenlee and whispered. "Don't worry." "What are you talking about?" Greenlee whispered back.  
  
"Jake's going to be fine. I took care of everything." 


	16. Chapter Sixteen

A feeling of anxiousness loomed in the waiting room as Tad continuously checked his watch. "You're driving me crazy," Greenlee said, clasping his wrist and holding it down. "It's three minutes later than when you checked the last time." Greenlee paused. "I'm sorry, Tad," she said, releasing her grip on his arm. "I'm..."  
  
"It's alright," Tad said as Greenlee put her head down on his shoulder. "Don't worry about it." He took her hand. "Everything's going to be fine. I promised you, didn't I?" Greenlee nodded. He looked up and saw David standing in the hallway. Tad's eyes widened and he shifted in his seat. He released Greenlee's hand and stood.  
  
"Where are you going?" Greenlee asked.  
  
"The uh... little boy's room," Tad stuttered. "I'll be right back." Tad exited the room and turned to his left, pulling David into an empty corridor. "What are you doing?" Tad whispered loudly. "You know what happens if anyone in that room finds out that you're here? Let alone half the doctors and nurses in this hospital?"  
  
"You brought me here," David said.  
  
"Well, did you get to take a look at him?" David nodded. "And?"  
  
"I don't know what to tell you. He needs a heart."  
  
"What can you do for him right now?"  
  
"Do you want the truth?"  
  
"What do you think?" David shook his head. "No?" Tad asked. "No, what?"  
  
"There's nothing I can do."  
  
"What are you talking about? There's a room full of people in there that I promised everything would be OK."  
  
"Did you ever think of checking before you said anything to them?"  
  
"I didn't think I would have had to, David."  
  
"Well, you made it quite clear on the way here what you did and didn't want me doing to help him. No drugs. Isn't that what you said?"  
  
"That's before I knew it would be my only option."  
  
"Even if you changed your mind now, I don't have anything that would work. The disease is too advanced."  
  
Tad's fists clenched. "You could have prevented all of this," Tad said. "If you had helped him when he asked you, we probably wouldn't be here."  
  
"Those drugs are unpredictable," David said.  
  
"You used them on Dixie knowing that," Tad said.  
  
"Don't bring Dixie into this. Her condition was very different than Jake's. There are different factors to consider."  
  
"Like what? Which of them you would have liked to see live a little longer?"  
  
"I don't have to stand here and take this from you," David said. "I'll tell you again. Get me a heart and I'd gaurantee you I could keep him alive."  
  
Tad took a deep breath. "What am I going to tell them when I go back in there?" he asked.  
  
"Don't ask me," David said. "You got yourself into this. Don't expect me to dig you out."  
  
"Why would I? You haven't done anything for us yet, why start now?" Tad turned his back on David and walked back into the waiting room.  
  
"Are you OK?" Greenlee asked.  
  
"Yeah," Tad said. "I ran into one of the doctors." It wasn't a complete lie. They didn't need to know which doctor.  
  
"Do they have any news?" Tad was silent as he sat. "Tad? What did they say?"  
  
Tad opened his mouth to speak, but the words didn't pass his lips. He didn't know what to say.  
  
"Mr. Martin?" one of the doctors entered the waiting room.  
  
"I'm Tad Martin." Tad jumped to his feet.  
  
"Is this your whole family?" Tad looked around.  
  
"Yeah, we're all here."  
  
"You all should hear this," the doctor said. "Heart transplants are hard to come by." Jamie took hold of Brooke's hand. "But your family seems to have somebody on your side."  
  
"You found a heart?" Greenlee asked.  
  
"It's being brought in right now. I just wanted to let you know before we brought Jake down to the OR."  
  
"But he's OK?"  
  
"He's stable for now, but after we get the new heart in, he should be as good as new."  
  
The doctor turned and went to leave the room, when Tad called to him. "Hey, doc? That new heart. Where did it come from?"  
  
The doctor paused. "I can't say exactly who it came from," he explained. "But I can tell you, it came from a young man who was on his way to a concert in Llanview. His car went off the road."  
  
Jamie's jaw dropped slightly. The conversation was muted. He wasn't sure how long he was sitting there like that, when he felt a hand come down on his shoulder.  
  
"James," Tad said. "Don't you want to go with everyone else?"  
  
"Huh?" Jamie said, looking around the empty room.  
  
Tad sat down beside him. "We've been sitting here all night. Everyone went to get something to eat."  
  
"I'm really not very hungry," Jamie said.  
  
"What's wrong?" Tad asked him. "Everything's going to be fine now." Tad paused. "Do you have something on your mind?"  
  
Jamie took a deep breath. "JR got tickets for that concert. The one in Llanview. We were going to go." He paused. "That could have been us in that car, Dad."  
  
"Hey," Tad said. "Don't even think like that. It wasn't you in that car or your brother. You're safe."  
  
"But... I could have been us."  
  
"It wasn't," Tad said. "Let's leave it at that, OK? We shouldn't be worrying at this point."  
  
"You are though," Jamie said. "I've seen you worry before Dad. Plenty of times."  
  
"I guess I am worried." Tad said. "That something will go wrong in there."  
  
"I'm sure that those doctors didn't go to medical school for nothing." Jamie said. "They know what they're doing. They've probably done this like... I don't know, a million times before."  
  
Tad nodded. "Either way, I'm going to stay and wait for them to be done." Jamie leaned back in the chair. "Aren't you going to eat?"  
  
He shook his head. "I think I'll stay here with you." Tad smiled and put his arm around Jamie's shoulder as they both threw their feet up on the small table in front of them. 


	17. Chapter Seventeen

Greenlee and Brooke walked into the hospital waiting room and smiled at eachother. There were Tad and Jamie, asleep. Jamie's head leaning on Tad's shoulder and Tad's arms folded across his chest.  
  
"Do you think we should wake them?" Greenlee asked Brooke.  
  
"They slept through the whole night," Brooke said.  
  
"I feel bad waking them though. I mean, look at them. That is so adorable."  
  
"They would want to go see Jake." Brooke walked over to Jamie and gently nudged his arm.  
  
"Oh, mom," Jamie moaned. "Five more minutes."  
  
Tad stirred. "Did we sleep this whole time?" he yawned.  
  
"Like two babies," Greenlee grinned.  
  
"I think I see teeth," Tad said, rubbing his eyes. "I do see a smiling face, don't I?" Greenlee nodded. "Then he's OK?"  
  
"We just left him. He's awake, he's talking, and the doctors say that everything looks good." Tad jumped to his feet and ran out of the room. "Third door on the left," Greenlee called to him.  
  
Tad pushed his way inside and paused, trying to calm his excitement. "You gave us quite a scare, little brother," Tad said, walking up to Jake. Jake looked a lot better than when Tad had last seen him. The color had returned to his face and he looked healthier. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"Like hell," Jake managed a smile. "Thanks for asking." Tad shook his head. "I guess I feel better than I did."  
  
"Give it time," Tad said. "You'll be up and about and yelling orders around here sooner than you think."  
  
"I was thinking of taking some time off," Jake said. He paused. "I asked her. Greenlee. I asked her to marry me, Tad."  
  
Tad smiled. "What did she say?" Jake nodded. "You lucky dog, you. The baby's getting married. Pop's going to be thrilled." Tad was afraid to touch him, but lightly grabbed his shoulder. "So is that what it takes to get you to take a vacation?" Jake began to laugh, but winced a bit in pain. "Ooo, sorry," Tad said. "I don't want you to bust at the seams."  
  
Jake took a deep breath, smiling. "Hey, Tad," he said. "Thanks."  
  
"For what?" Tad asked.  
  
"Greenlee said that you were the one who gave me CPR back at the house."  
  
Tad smirked. "Yeah. Well I guess that watching all those reruns of Rescue 911 did some good, huh?"  
  
"If you hadn't been there, I could have died."  
  
"You know that Pop would have jumped right in if I didn't."  
  
"You saved my life."  
  
"No," Tad corrected him. "A group of highly qualified surgeons saved your life. I just helped out a little before hand."  
  
"And David?" Jake asked. Tad's eyes widened in shock. "I know it wasn't Greenlee who got him to look at me."  
  
"How did you..."  
  
"I wasn't completely out of it the whole time."  
  
Tad shook his head. "I didn't know what else to do, Jake." Tad said. "It would have been legit. I warned him, no drugs."  
  
"You warned him?" Jake smiled. "David Hayward?"  
  
"You have no idea." Tad paused. "It doesn't matter anyway. Hayward didn't do anything." He paused again. "Look, Jake. Nobody else knows about David being here."  
  
"And they won't," Jake said. "Not from me at least."  
  
There was a knock at the door. Greenlee popped her head in. Tad pat Jake's hand. "I'll leave you two kids alone," he said. Greenlee walked up to the bed. "Take it easy on him, Greenlee."  
  
She smiled and sat as Tad left the room. "What were you two talking about?" Greenlee asked him.  
  
"Guy stuff," Jake said. Greenlee brought her head down and rested it on his.  
  
"Oh, I see," Greenlee said, grinning. She lifted her head. "I was thinking... I want to marry you."  
  
"I thought we had established that already."  
  
"I mean now. As soon as possible."  
  
"Woah. I know I'm not one for long engagements, but don't you think we should give this a little time?"  
  
"I always dreamed of having a perfect wedding. Almost like a fairytale."  
  
"You don't even have a dress."  
  
"How do you know that?" Jake raised his eyebrows. "OK, I don't have a dress, but I don't need one. As long as you're there, and I'm there, I don't need any of that fancy stuff."  
  
"I just think we should wait a while."  
  
"You do still want to get married, Jake."  
  
"Of course I do," Jake said. "I love you Greenlee."  
  
"Then let's do it," Greenlee said. "Let's get married now."  
  
"Greenlee. I just had surgery. I want you to be able to walk down the  
  
aisle. I want that for you." Greenlee was silent. "I want to stand there and watch the door open and see you in a beautiful wedding dress. I want to swear myself to you in front of our family and friends. I know you want that too."  
  
"I want you."  
  
"You have me." Jake took Greenlee's hand. "You will always have me, whether we get married in one hour or one year. I'm not going anywhere." A tear ran down Greenlee's cheek. "Hey," Jake said. "What is it?"  
  
"I came so close to losing you," Greenlee said. "I held you in my arms last night... and you weren't breathing. I saw our life together flash by me and... I... I was so scared, Jake."  
  
"You are not going to lose me. We're going to get married and we're going to grow old together. We'll be ninety and wrinkled, but we'll be together."  
  
Jake saw a smile start to show on Greenlee's face. "I'm not going to wrinkle," she said.  
  
"OK," Jake said. He paused and looked her directly in the eye. "I promise you that this wedding will happen, and it will be perfect."  
  
Greenlee sniffled. "I'm not going to wait forever, Jake Martin," she said.  
  
"I'm not asking you to. Just a little while."  
  
There was silence for a moment as Greenlee nodded. She rested her head down on his chest. "I love you, Jake," she said. "And even if you made me wait a hundred years I would still love you."  
  
"I love you too," Jake said he lifted his hand and rested it on the back of her head. "I swear to you this will be the best wedding Pine Valley has ever seen. It'll be the answer to all your dreams."  
  
"My every dream was fulfilled when you came into my life," Greenlee said. "How could I ask for anything more?" 


	18. Chapter Eighteen

Tad knocked on the door and waited for an answer. It swung inward a little and a pair of eyes peered through the tiny opening and then the door opened the rest of the way and Tad entered.  
  
"What?" Tad asked. "Were you worried I was Greenlee or something?" Jake shut the door and walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. "You're not getting cold feet, are you?"  
  
"No," Jake said. "Just a little nervous, that's all."  
  
"Well, that's normal," Tad said, walking around the room. "Look at this place," he said. "It sure was great of Edmund to let you use Wildwind for this."  
  
"Greenlee said she wanted a fairytale wedding," Jake said, standing and walking up to Tad. "What's more fairytale than a castle?"  
  
"Not much." Tad paused. "Hey, listen. I've got to go back out to the chapel and greet some of the guests before Pop bores them all to death." Jake laughed. Tad made his way to the door.  
  
"Tad," Jake called to him. Tad turned. "How do I look?"  
  
Tad tapped his finger up against his lips as he looked Jake over. "Something tells me that the suspenders go under the jacket." Jake looked down and saw the suspenders still hanging from his pants. He shook his head. "Take it easy, Jake. Don't stress out. This is going to be fine."  
  
"I know it is," Jake said. Tad nodded and went for the door again. "I'm glad you're the one who'll be standing up there with me today."  
  
"I'm more honored than you'll ever know." Tad smiled. "I'll see you down there." Tad exited the room and stood outside the door for a moment before he made his way down the long hallway to another room.  
  
He knocked on the door and again waited as the door opened a crack, a pair of eyes peered through and then opened completely.  
  
"How's everything going in here?" Tad asked Brooke.  
  
"She's ready," Brooke said. "She's nervous, but she's ready."  
  
"You think I could talk to her alone for a little while?"  
  
"What, you're going to try to talk her out of it?"  
  
"I'm going to tell her to run while she still can," Tad laughed.  
  
Brooke shook her head. "I'd better not see her run out of here in tears."  
  
"Ha, Ha, very funny," Tad said. "I just want to talk to her." Brooke nodded. "Did I ever tell you you're the greatest?"  
  
"Every time you want something," Brooke smiled. The bathroom door started to open and Tad shot Brooke a glance. "OK, OK, I'm going." Brooke turned and left the room as Greenlee stepped out of the bathroom.  
  
Greenlee stopped short. "Are you supposed to be here?" Greenlee asked him.  
  
"As long as I'm not the one who's saying 'I do' at that alter, I think I can be here." Tad sat down on the edge of the bed. "Wow," he said. "You look amazing."  
  
"Do you really think so?" Greenlee asked.  
  
"If you weren't just about to marry my brother, I'd propose."  
  
Greenlee smiled. "Well... I have the old, the new and the blue. I just have to find something borrowed."  
  
"That's actually what I cam e her to talk to you about," Tad said. "I was talking to JR and we decided that you should wear this... If you want to, of course."  
  
Tad went into his pocket and handed Greenlee Dixie's necklace. "Oh, Tad," Greenlee said, sitting down. "Of course I'll wear it." She handed the necklace back to him. "Will you put it on for me?"  
  
Greenlee turned her back to Tad and he draped the chain around her neck, fastening the clasp.  
  
"There," Tad said. "You're all set."  
  
Greenlee brought her hand up and felt the star shaped pendant hanging around her neck. "I..." Greenlee began. "I didn't really know Dixie very well. I mean, aside from the fact that she was married to you." Tad was silent. "You really loved her a lot."  
  
"She was everything to me," Tad said. "She was the reason I got out of bed in the morning. And... at the end of the day, nothing else mattered as long as we could meet eachother at the front door." Tad paused. "It's a crazy thing that love. It makes the rest of the world disappear."  
  
"I only hope that me and Jake will be as happy as you two were."  
  
Tad smiled. "I know you will." Tad could see a tear start to roll down Greenlee's cheek. "We won't have any of that now." Tad laughed. "You run out of here crying, and Brooke's going to come after me with a baseball bat." Greenlee laughed, dabbing her eyes as they stood. Tad leaned down and kissed her cheek. "See me after the wedding and I'll be sure to kiss the other one." Greenlee was silent as Tad walked towards the door. "I'll let you finish getting ready," he said. "The next time we get to talk, you'll be Mrs. Jake Martin."  
  
Greenlee smiled. "I'll see you down there." Tad walked out of the room and through the halls. he made his way down the stairs and out the front doors.  
  
Tad stood there alone for a minute, before taking a seat on one of the steps. He stared out at the bright blue sky. Everything about the day seemed like spring, and it very well could have passed for a spring day if it wasn't for the snow on the ground.  
  
Tad leaned over, resting his arms on his knees and interlocking his fingers. "You would have liked to see this, Dixie," he said. "You always did love this kind of stuff." Tad brought his hands up and ran his fingers back through his hair. "God, I miss you so much," he paused. "I don't know if you can hear me."  
  
"Sure she can." JR was standing in front of him. "You're the on who told me that."  
  
"Yeah, I did, didn't I?"  
  
JR sat down beside Tad. "They're wondering where you are down at the chapel."  
  
"You found me," Tad said, smiling weakly. "I had to give Greenlee your mom's necklace."  
  
"Did she wear it?" JR asked.  
  
"She was honored." Tad paused. "That was a good idea, JR."  
  
"Yeah, well... I just figured that it's probably what mom would have done."  
  
"You're right," Tad said. "That's exactly what she would have done."  
  
"Is it ever going to stop hurting?" JR asked.  
  
Tad was silent for a moment. "Truthfully?" he said. "Sometimes, JR, there are days when I think it'll never stop. And to be honest with you, I think that there will always be times when it really hurts. But... we have eachother to help get through those times." Tad paused. "What really matters, JR is that your mom is in there." He pointed at the boy's chest. "That she's in your heart."  
  
JR nodded, his mouth slightly open and his eyes glazed. He sniffled and took a deep breath as his bottom lip began to quiver. Tad wasn't prepared for what happened next. JR threw his arms around him, crying.  
  
"It's alright," Tad said bringing his arms up around the boy. "It's OK. Go on. Let it all out. It's OK." Tad pat JR on the back as he sobbed noisily and then looked up over his shoulder.  
  
Brooke was standing about ten feet from them, a look of concern on her face. Tad nodded faintly, assuring her that everything was OK.  
  
"It's alright," Tad said to JR. "It's OK."  
  
"Why did she have to die?" JR asked. "She never did anything to anybody."  
  
"I know," Tad said. "I know it's not fair."  
  
"She should have stayed in Pine Valley... then she would still be here."  
  
"Don't think that way."  
  
"It's true though, isn't it?"  
  
"If that's the case, JR, it's my fault she died," Tad said. "I'm the reason she went to Europe in the first place."  
  
"She went to Europe because she had to."  
  
"Why did she have to?" JR didn't answer. "Don't you see what I mean? You can't blame anyone for this. You can't JR." Tad paused. "I'm not asking you to accept what happened. It was a terrible accident. But that's what it  
  
was... an accident. I'm not to blame, you're not to blame, and your mom was certainly not to blame. Because for you, JR... that woman would have moved the world." JR managed a small smile. "See?" Tad said. "There it is. There's the smile that she loved so much." Tad smiled back and then turned his head and saw Brooke still standing there. "Brooke," Tad said, pretending that he hadn't seen her there the whole time.  
  
"I'm not interrupting anything I hope," she said playing along.  
  
"I think everything's OK now," Tad said looking at JR who nodded.  
  
Brooke smiled. "I sent JR up here to look for you and he disappeared too, so I figured I should see what where everyone was going." She paused. "Just in case you two forgot, there's a wedding about to start."  
  
"Oh," Tad said. "So that's why I'm wearing this incredibly uncomfortable suit."  
  
"Funny," Brooke smiled. "I should remind you, Sir Rent-A-Tux, that you're the best man. We can't start this without you."  
  
Tad walked down the stairs towards Brooke. "I happen to own this suit," he said.  
  
"Get going," Brooke said.  
  
"Geesh," Tad said. "I disappear for a little while and the whole wedding is going to fall apart."  
  
"Go."  
  
"Alright, alright," he said. "Come on, JR." JR shook his head, a smile on his face. "We have a wedding to attend." 


	19. Chapter Nineteen

Tad snuck in the back entrance of the chapel and swiftly made his way over to Jake's side.  
  
"Nice of you to show up," Jake said.  
  
"Sorry," Tad said. "We had a bit of a crisis." Jake looked at Tad wide eyed. 'Everything's fine now." Jake took a deep breath and went back to looking out at the sea of people who were sitting in Wildwind chapel. "Take it easy," Tad said.  
  
"It's just a little hard to believe this is actually happening." Jake said as the processional began to play. The guests turned to face the opening door to catch a glimpse of the bride.  
  
The doors opened and the bridal party started to enter, slowly making their way to the front of the chapel. Everything was in place as the guests still stared back at the empty doorway.  
  
Tad looked over at Brooke. "Where is she?" he asked.  
  
"She was right behind me," Brooke said. "Give her a minute." There was silence as Jake kept his eyes glued nervously to the chapel doors.  
  
"Maybe somebody should go look for her," Tad said.  
  
"Shh," Brooke said. "She's coming, don't worry."  
  
They kept their sights locked and waited. Suddenly, the music started again. The people in the pews turned again. Greenlee finally stood in the doorway. She was radiant. The wedding dress was strapless, with a tight fitting bodice. It flared out starting at the waist, grazing the floor just slightly as she walked down the aisle.  
  
Jake smiled as Greenlee stopped beside him.  
  
"We are gathered today to join Jake Martin and Greenlee Smythe in holy matrimony," the minister began. "If anyone can show just cause why this man and this woman should not be wed, let them speak now, or forever hold their peace." There was a moment of silence before the minister looked at Jake and continued. "Jake, do you take Greenlee to be your wife? To love, honor and cherish from this day forward, forsaking all others, keeping only unto her, for as long as you both shall live?"  
  
"I do," Jake looked into Greenlee's eyes.  
  
"Greenlee, do you take Jake to be your husband? To love, honor and cherish from this day forward, forsaking all others, keeping only unto him, for as long as you both shall live?"  
  
Greenlee was silent as she smiled. "I do."  
  
"At this time, you may join hands and exchange vows."  
  
Jake and Greenlee took eachother's hands. Greenlee took a deep breath. "Jake," she said. "I feel like I'm dreaming. This is all just too perfect. But... I knew from the minute I first saw you that you were my destiny. I've never been happier than I am when I'm with you. I'm so glad that I found you here. You're my best friend. We've been through a lot together. Good things and bad. But together, we got through it. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to grow old with you. I love you so much, I can't ask for anything more than a life with you."  
  
"I promised you that I would never leave you," Jake said. "That I would be here for you always. I'm keeping my promise to you. You've been my strength through everything, and believe me, you name it, we've been through it. Through sickness, you gave me a reason to fight... My heart may be new, but it still knows the same love. Everytime it beats, it beats for you, Greenlee. I love you, and if I never get another thing in my life it won't matter because I have you."  
  
The minister turned to Tad. "The ring," Tad said, patting his hands over his pockets until finally coming up with the gold wedding band and handing it to the minister.  
  
"Repeat after me," the minister said. "With this ring, as a symbol of my love and commitment, I thee wed."  
  
"With this ring, as a symbol of my love and commitment," Jake said, slipping the ring on Greenlee's finger. "I thee wed."  
  
Greenlee's eyes were full of tears as she took his ring. "With this ring, as a symbol of my love and commitment," she slipped the ring on his finger, "I thee wed."  
  
The minister took Jake and Greenlee's right hands and joined them. "Those whom God has joined together, let no man put asunder. Jake and Greenlee, having given and pledged yourselves to eachother and having declared the same by giving and receiving of a ring, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."  
  
Jake smiled. He lifted his hand and wiped Greenlee's eyes before dipping his head down, his lips locking with hers.  
  
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Jake Martin."  
  
The room was an ocean of tears as Jake and Greenlee made their way together, hand in hand, back down the aisle. Tad looked over at Brooke, who was on the verge of tears. He smirked, shaking his head slightly.  
  
"What?" Brooke mouthed silently to him as she dabbed the tears from her eyes.  
  
"Nothing," Tad mouthed back, a smile still on his face.  
  
  
  
Music and laughter filled the rooms and corridors of Wildwind Castle. Jake and Greenlee took to the dance floor, her head rested up against his chest as they slowly swayed to the music.  
  
Brooke sat at a table alone, watching the guests as she swirled the drink in her glass.  
  
"Well, what's a purdy gal like you doin' sittin' here by yer lonesome?" Tad asked in a phony cowboy dialect as he took a seat at the table with Brooke. "Don't you want to dance or something?" he asked in his normal voice. Brooke shook her head. "How many of those have you had already?" Tad asked, taking the glass gently from her hand.  
  
"One," Brooke said. Tad raised his eyebrows. "OK, two."  
  
Tad checked his wristwatch, realizing the short amount of time that they had been at the reception. "I think I'd better be the one to cut you off for now," he said. "Because pretty soon, those two drinks will turn into four, will turn into more than that and you'll be falling into..."  
  
"...bed with Adam Chandler."  
  
"I wasn't going to say that."  
  
"But you were thinking it."  
  
Tad placed the drink on the table. "Look, Brooke," he said. "I'm worried about you. You've been sitting in this corner since we got here, drowning your sorrows. This isn't like you." Brooke was silent. "You want to talk?" Brooke was still silent. Come on, what is it? Is it the wedding? The reception? The flowers should be pink instead of red? What?" Tad paused. "Is it this place? Being here brings back memories." He paused again. "Do you want me to take you home?"  
  
"They say there's somebody for everybody," Brooke said. "But did you ever think... what if you never find that somebody? I mean, not you, you found Dixie. Somebody like..."  
  
"Like you?" Brooke nodded. "Brooke." Tad took her hands. "Listen to me. You are a beautiful woman. Make no mistake about that. So, you've been unlucky in the love department. So what? Believe me, one day, some guy will come to his senses and figure out you're the one for him. He'll realize that aside from your looks, you're smart, you're independent, and you keep up with me in the wisecrack department." Brooke smiled. "I do think that everybody has a special somebody. It just takes some people a little longer to find them than others. And most of the time... he's somebody who's right under your nose." Tad paused. "Now are you going to get out there and dance, or do I have to drag you?"  
  
"You don't have to ask twice," Brooke smiled.  
  
"I think I just did," Tad said with a childish grin.  
  
Brooke shook her head as Tad extended his hand. She took it and he led her out onto the dance floor. "You know," Brooke said as she danced with Tad. "Those vows... Jake's... was incredible."  
  
"Yeah," Tad said. "I know Jake, and if it passed his lips, he meant every word. They're going to be really happy together."  
  
"I know they will be." Brooke said as she and Tad got lost in the melody of the music playing. It seemed as though all of her worries disappeared as she glided across the dance floor with him.  
  
"She's going to throw it." The serenity was interrupted at the sound of a voice.  
  
"You don't want to miss this," Tad said, easing her away from him. "Go." Brooke didn't say a word as she joined the group by the stairs.  
  
"Are you guys ready?" Greenlee asked. She turned her back and tossed the bouquet over her shoulder. The women of Pine Valley were ready to pounce, but it wasn't necessary.  
  
Brooke looked down at the flowers that were lying in her arms. Her jaw dropped slightly as she glanced over to the tables. Tad was sharing an embrace with his brother, a rightful congratulations. Brooke bit her bottom lip as Tad looked over in her direction. She smiled as he noticed the bouquet.  
  
"He's right under your nose," Brooke said softly, and she walked over to the table to congratulate the groom. 


End file.
